Archive for category god

A Holiday Guide for Xmas Decorations

holidays.jpg

Just a little something I thought could help people out this time of year.  Of course these are only my opinions (and hence facts) but here we go:

1)  Fake candles in the windows – this is by far the tackiest accessory of the Christmas season.  Whenever I take Mac on walks I go by at least three houses with these riddled on the front face.  Can’t stand em.  It does not look good.

2)  Light-up reindeer on the lawn – also tacky.

3)  Anything of the blow-up variety – do I really need to say anything here?  There’s a house in our neighborhood that has a blow-up something-or-other on their lawn every. single. holiday.  They recently took down the turkey to put up the Santa.  Oy.

4)  Luminaria – discouraged unless required by your HOA. 

5)  String lights haphazardly tossed in trees – please, get a professional to do it.  If it looks like you had a seizure and threw your hand (which happened to be holding xmas lights) in the air all “Shazam!”-like, not cool.

Other than that, I’m totally into the CHRISTmas spirit (people on Facebook do this, as in…Merry CHRISTmas…or I actually saw a status that said, “You can take the Christ out of Christmas but you can’t take the Christ out of me!”).  Ugh.

My mom has begged me not to talk politics at the family get-together tomorrow.  Hey, I won’t bring it up, but if anyone of my gun-wielding hardcore Republican relatives gets cocky, I’m puttin em in their place.  I’m a loud-mouthed bitch and this is why my mother loves me, even if she doesn’t realize it.

Merry CHRISTmas, sluts.

Season’s greetings, sluts.

One fun thing about December is that it’s a month for holidays for many religions!  Be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Eid, or Kwanzaa, we all have our reasons for the season.  But how shall we go about celebrating them the politically correct way?My husband and I decided to host a Merry Chrismukkah Tacky Sweater Party.  In hindsight I suppose we should have called it Merry Chrismukwanzeidkuh, but let’s face it, nobody would be able to pronounce it and it wouldn’t fit on an invitation.  This year was the first, and while there was a small turnout, I’ll venture to say it was enjoyed by all.  We donned our snowflake sweaters while channeling our inner Bill Cosby and got to town!  If you think about it, things like this are really the reasons people love the holidays – good food, drink, and company. Society gets carried away with the commercialism of it all.  I was overwhelmed when choosing which holiday card to send out!  There are simply too many from which to choose.  I finally settled on a simple red, black, and white one that read, “Happy Holidays.” 

But back to the Chrismukkah party.  Just selecting the invitation was task enough.  Do you know how hard it is to find holiday invitations without stockings, trees, or ornaments on them?  However, I did end up discovering a pale green one with multi-colored snowflakes.  Snow’s kosher for everyone, right?

I suppose our house can be a bit depressing, especially if you’re one of those people who likes to have their home look like Santa just vomited Christmas spirit everywhere.  We have no decorations whatsoever.  A lone menorah sat on our stove, as it was the second night of Hanukkah.  But I made sure to have Christmas cookies, latkes, and plenty of holiday cocktails to go around.

As a Jew, what’s known as the “December Dilemma” in our world can get a bit awkward.  People I meet automatically assume I celebrate Christmas and wish me a merry one; I get ornaments from coworkers as presents.  But the holidays for me are a sort of guilty pleasure.  It’s like going to a birthday party – you get cake, goodies, and favors, but it’s still not your party. 

So what can we do to make everyone comfortable and ensure a great holiday season?  Wish them just that – happy holidays!  And of course you can always throw in the standard, “…and a happy new year!”  Santa voice optional.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not buy reasonably priced furniture.

Shane and I were running the classic Saturday evening errands… World Market, Costco, and Ashley Furniture, like the good little married couples do…when they want new sofas for their bonus rooms.

So I’m driving and pull into the big strip mall parking lot in search of semi-cheap furniture that I can pay off in four years with no interest (shameless and yes most of our furniture is from Ashley). 

I’m driving and searching for the perfect parking spot when we realize some dude’s wearing a reflective vest and has those little airport glowsticks, directing traffic.  Rather than run him over, I turn left as directed.  Again, we’re greeted by a reflective prophet pointing us again to the left.  We’re super intrigued and ponder aloud what the devil (pun intended, you’ll see) could be happening.

“What’s going on?!” 
“I don’t know, it must be some sort of event.”
“Shit, is Ashley having a SALE?!”

There are parents with strollers (and offspring).  Teens in jeans and t-shirts.  The elderly.

So I pull into a parking space and roll down my window to inquire what sort of festivities we’re about to be in for.

“Hey, you!  Reflective man with a beard!  What’s going on?”

I get a big goofy grin and a “church!!” back at me.

What a. letdown.

“Oh.  Church?  We’re not going to church.  We’re going to Ashley Furniture, so do I have to park here?”
“Um, no, you can go back around.”

I felt a little judged, not gonna lie.  They must get this all the time, right?  I mean, they’re DIRECTING TRAFFIC?  I wonder if they actually snag some congregants.  Like, shit, they didn’t ask any questions about why we’re makin em park here, maybe they won’t ask questions about ETERNAL DAMNATION FOR THEIR SINFUL LIVES!  LET’S ENLIGHTEN THEM!

I can’t believe I totally fell for it.  I might as well have mentioned that I’m confounded by the thought of life after death, and gee…who do I have to screw to get some salvation around here?!

Vould zat bee okay vith you….Kirk?

Mike Seaver scares the shit out of me!

And is it wrong that I think this chick is uber hot in a trashy Euro kind of way?

Say yes.

Check out this article by my former professor, Dr. Mark Regnerus.  He writes a lot about religion, specifically in how it affects young adults’ decisions regarding sexuality.  It really is quite riveting, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a genius. 

Freedom to Marry Young

Do Jennifer and Jake in the last paragraph sound familiar?  Yeah, that’s because it’s me and Shane! 

I really liked taking Dr. Reg’s classes (I think I took three sociology classes with him, one in which I wrote my interfaith marriage paper).  And I ended up getting to read a lot of his book before it was published, by being a research assistant under his tutelage. 

Which I shall shamelessly advertise now.

Forbidden Fruit: Sex & Religion in the Lives of American Teenagers

Jessi, you would like.

I also just found the book’s site: www.markregnerus.com

Mostly about the book, and methinks you need to change that to “three children,” Dr. Reg, in case you secretly stalk my blog! 

Ok, other than that, no other news except work is wearing me ragged and the best part of my day was rockin out the entire 40 minute commute this morning to my new Black Eyed Peas CD.  Guh, why do I love that Boom Boom Pow so much? 

Just for giggles.

After last night’s conversation (there was more but I unfriended the original person, not that I had anything against her personally, but because I was officially no longer interested in what her band of ignorami had to say).  However, and I’m so glad she did this, Elaine Ricker (formerly Talley) ended up personally attacking me, saying I think I’m so smart and better than everyone.  Well I can state one thing for sure:  I’m CERTAIN that I am better than her.  Thank you, Elaine Ricker, for showing me the true essence of a self-proclaimed Christian.  Aaaaaand, now that we’re officially judging each other….

Now, whenever anyone googles your name (including you), you’ll be able to see that ELAINE RICKER OF DALLAS, TEXAS IS A BRAINLESS, DIM-WITTED, OBTUSE, SORRY EXCUSE FOR A PERSON.  Oo, that’s good, I’ll call her No Brain Elaine in my head.  I’d say she’s a waste of oxygen but come on that’s just mean. HAHAHAHHAHA.  Ok that’s all mostly for my amusement, but I’ll be so happy if one day her kids see this.  Hopefully they won’t grow up with heads as empty as hers. 

Oh and here’s a link to her myspace page

It’s pretty bleak.  And I wonder if I should add “fugly” to my Google search keywords.

 And yes, I’m perfectly okay with posting all of this.  Stupid people should be punished.

OMG! I’m pro-choice! I’m pro-murder! Kill all the babies! Clearly.

The following is an actual Facebook wall argument.  Notice that I’m the only one with any sound reason.  I don’t know why I attract these ignorant people.  I have no qualms about posting their names here, since they’re re-tards.  Please pronounce it reTARDS instead of REtards, like they do in The Hangover.

Ashley Horn Loves how the liberal mind works. u r a murderer if u kill animals but its a womans right to decide to kill a baby!! little confused dont u think!!

 Christa Schuck

it’s only that it’s a woman’s right to do what she chooses with her body. at that point it wouldn’t be a baby…just a collection of cells. but that’s another debate altogether. i myself would not get an abortion, but i think rape victims and poverty-stricken people who can’t afford a baby should have the right to choose. god knows we don’t need any more unloved kids in the world.

*Post deleted by author, who later comments in the thread*

 Christa Schuck

you’re not going to convince teenagers to not have sex just because they’re not ready to have a baby. that’s an extremely flawed and uneducated argument. it’s been proven that the whole “abstinence” argument pushed by the christian right is more likely to result in an unplanned pregnancy than practicing birth control. oh, and a “baby” doesn’t get a heartbeat til about six weeks. so by your logic abortion is totally cool up until that point, no?

Vicky Espo Whitington

Hi Crista, when you wrote, ‘oh, and a “baby” doesn’t get a heartbeat til about six weeks. so by your logic abortion is totally cool up until that point, no?’ I was inspired by this scripture…Jeremiah 1:5 is so cool because it says…’Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you and ordained you a prophet to the nations’…
Just a thought…;)

Tasha Kay Barch

its a life the moment of conception.. something can not grow that is not alive right!?!?! hmm anyway you look at it. i think that god knows what he’s doing even when its “unplanned”
abortion is murder.. period..

 Christa Schuck

You can’t argue based on religion. That completely negates your point. The bible is not something you can cite. And I believe the majority of women (not to mention the government) disagree with the “abortion is murder” tactic. And honestly I can’t take you seriously when you’re all, “omg?! babies!!! do u no what ur doing” verbage and poor Read Moregrammar and religious basis on a political argument. And yes, I will call it a political argument, because like Ashley said, it’s my “liberal” point of view. When really it’s just my realistic and educated opinion supported by most of the country. Never anywhere in my point did I say God supports it. That’s totally moot. Hence the separation of CHURCH AND STATE.

Elaine Talley Ricker

Why can’t you cite scripture from the Bible? Everything you have said makes my heart hurt…..why in the world do you want to argue about something like a brand new life not really being a life until 6 weeks. I think something that has the power to give me morning sickness the day after it is conceived is very much alive. I think that poverty Read Morestricken people who cannot afford a baby but get pregnant anyway shouldn’t be so careless, that doesn’t give them the right to decide if someone lives or dies, not only is adoption available but you can take your baby to any fire station or police station if you are in that situation. If you don’t believe that the Bible is a book that can be cited for any of life’s situations then please do not use His name. “God knows we need more unloved kids in the world”…….you disgust me. Vicky I love the scripture that you gave! And I completely agree with Tasha, both my babies were “unplanned” and they are the best things that have ever happened to me.

 Christa Schuck

You can’t cite the bible because it’s based on a specific group of people’s beliefs and not fact. Please don’t make me say “duh.”
The fact of the matter remains that women should have a choice with what happens with their bodies, regardless of whether the religious right wishes to strip us of that right. Abortion will happen whether it’s legal or not. Truth.
I love that you gave yourself the authority to determine who can and can’t use God’s name, though. Typical.

Update:

Ashley Horn

Wow!!! and christa absolutely we can put our basis on the bible!!! it is my political right to base any thoughts i have on the bible!! i am a free person and i have the ability to choose how and what i think and what i basew those beliefs on!!! my God is bigger than anything and anyonr who disagrees i pray for because they are the ones who will be Read Morefooled someday!!! we all serve something and on that day when God decides he will let his power be known!! God bless!!! and yes it is typical for us to use Go just as u tie yourviews with obama!!!! and it is typical that someone so opposed to my views would be first to respond!! most of the liberal society wants peace with the countries but cant even get along with fellow americans!!!!hmmmmmm confused again!!!!!!

 Christa Schuck

Yes…you can base your BELIEFS on the bible. But not facts. And certainly not arguments. How can you possibly argue “well….God doesn’t want people to have an abortion!” in court? You can’t. Roe v. Wade stands, and always will. Who’s not getting along? Numbers say the majority of people agree with ME, and I’m the only person that’s remained Read Morecalm in this debate and not personally attacking people with phrases such as “you disgust me” or “you’ll be fooled someday!” I’m not attacking anyone’s personal beliefs. I’m just saying that politically, you can’t back them up. My mind, my body, my choice. And my babies will be pro-choice too :o)

 Update:

Tasha Kay Barch

its sad what this world has come to. haha God will have his hands full come judgment day hahaha. . and at what point during this did anyone use the phrase “you disgust me, or you’ll be fooled one day????
one day EVERY KNEE WILL BOW AND EVERY TONGUE WILL CONFESS..! even the liberals.. amen!!

 Christa Schuck

Tasha….if you would READ the debate then you’d see.
I already have God and religion. And I’m liberal…imagine that. Religion is to give you freedom and meaning in your life, not hatred in your heart as so displayed here.

Tasha Kay Barch

i have no hate i just simply cant see how you can be a christian and belief that things liberals believe are okay!?
and I said liberals, never did i say Christa… :) and im glad u have god thats awesome..

 Christa Schuck

I’m not a Christian. There are other religions, and I belong to one of them.
And I think you mean “believe.”
And since I am liberal, it was inferred that I was included in that statement. At this point I think it’s just agreeing to completely disagree.

UPDATE:

Ashley Horn

Yes you are correct, I pray for my country every day. I have also remained calm because it was never a debate to begin with. It may not stand up in the physical court system but believe me it will stand up in the court of the Lord. You say the Bible is not fact? Well can you prove that? Is that not what the liberal society has come to agree onRead More. That unless there is proof it is not a fact. Well can you prove that it is not real? Therefore your basis does not stand firm. Regardless, there are consequences and I will not argue my point any longer there is no need too. I am saddened for those who who do not know the truth!! But like the word of God says “For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life and there are few who find it.” matthew 7:14

 Christa Schuck

Hahaha, can you prove that it IS fact? That’s not a good argument.
And Ashley, please can it with the holier-than-thou stuff. I know your past and where you stand now.
But you can hardly post something as controversial as your status without expecting some pushback.

Ashley Horn

Yes I can I can post whatever I want. I am a free person In a free country and this is MY status!!! And yes you know my past thank God for the present!!! That is why I can post these things because of my past. The only way out is to repent and thank the Lord he brought me to that place!!! And the minute I claim to be hollier that thou, I will let Read Moreyou know. Don’t put your words into my mouth!! I will keep standing up for the truth and pray for those lost. I do love you Christa this was never about you!!! Have a wonderful evening!!

 Christa Schuck

Ok. I never said you couldn’t post anything, obviously…I said you can’t post it without expecting pushback, two different things. But please do not judge me for my beliefs. I know where I stand with God. I know this is not about me; it’s about something much bigger. I did not put any words in your mouth. I know we disagree on many things. I just thought mistakenly I was free to express my opinion as well, on your public post. I hope you have a good night too.

Boom.  Done.

I’m smart.  You’re not.  Open a book.  Google some shit.  People, EDUCATE YOURSELF AND TAKE YOUR MEDS.  That’s the code to live by. 

Oh. My. God. Pun. Intended.

How did I not know about Christopher Hitchens before now?  He is amazing.

I’m only about halfway through his book but it is in.cred.i.ble!

Here are some quotes I dog-eared to get us started…..

“How much vanity must be concealed-not too effectively at that-in order to pretend that one is the personal object of a divine plan?  How much self respect must be sacrificed in order that one may squirm continually in an awareness of one’s own sin?  How many needless assumptions must be made, and how much contoriton is required, to receive every new insight of science and manipulate it so as to “fit” with the revealed words of ancient man-made deities?  How many saints and miracles and councils and conclaves are required in order first to be able to establish a dogma and then-after infinite pain and loss and absurdity and cruelty-to be forced to rescind one of those dogmas?  God did not create man in his own image.  Evidently, it was the other way about, which is the painless explanation for the profusion of gods and religions, and the fratricide both between and among faiths, that we see all about us and that has so retarded the development of civilization.” (Page 8….hahahahhahah that’s only Page 8, folks). 

A note on that.  Seriously.  Is your life so empty….nay, is your brain so empty that you can’t accept SCIENTIFIC FACT of evolution?  Religion is a crutch for the WEAK.  I know you’re thinking, “But Christa, you’re a Jew!”  Yes, that’s true.  But I recognize that this is my religion, and lucky for me, reform Judaism allows me to maintain culture and tradition while believing whatever the hell I want.  I keep kosher, we sometimes go to temple, we definitely observe high holidays, but yeah.  I get it.  Religion FUELS hatred.  WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD?!  READ THE NEWS PEOPLE!!!  Google that shit.  And also, take your meds. 

Ok.  Next. 

“The level of intensity [of religion] fluctuates according to time and place, but it can be stated as a truth that religion does not, and in the long run cannot, be content with its own marvelous claims and sublime assurances.  It must seek to interfere with the lives of nonbelievers, or heretics, or adherents of other faiths.  It may speak about the bliss of the next world, but wants POWER in this one.  This is only to be expected.  It is, after all, wholly man-made.  And it does not have the confidence in its own various preachings even to allow coexistence between different faiths” (Page 17). 

YEAH, LEAVE ME ALONE.  GET OVER IT, I DON’T BELIEVE IN JESUS.  AND NEITHER DOES THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD.  I DO NOT BELIEVE IN HEAVEN, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN HELL, AND ANY GOD IN HEAVEN WHO WOULD SENTENCE THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD TO ETERNAL DAMNATION FOR NOT BELIEVING IN HIS “SON” IS DEFINITELY NOT A GOD I WANT TO BE AROUND.  YOU’RE ALL CRAZY!

Ok final quote from this portion.

“One must state it plainly.  Religion comes form the period of human prehistory where nobody-not even the mighty Democritus who concluded that all matter was made from atoms-had the smallest idea what was going on.  It comes from the bawling and fearful INFANCY of our species, and is a babyish attempt to meet our inescapable demand for knowledge (as well as for comfort, reassurance, and other infantile needs).  Today the least educated of my children knows much more about the natural order than any of the founders of religion, and one would like to think-though the connection is not a fully demonstrable one-that this is why they seem so uninterested in sending fellow humans to hell” (Page 64).

Ok. Yeah.  Well.  Like I said, I’m not good at articulating my feelings on the subject because honestly it gets my blood boiling, how ignorant most people can be.  Grow up.  GAH!

Still agnostic. NOT SURE?!

As mentioned in a previous post, I’m currently reading a book that’s absolutely riveting.

God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything

book2.jpg

It’s essentially everything I’ve ever believed but been unable to put into words, for fear of repercussions (hello?!  Salman Rushdie much?!) or because I’m just not as articulate as Christopher Hitchens. 

I have a few passages I’d like to post from here but honestly I’m simply too tired. now. 

Gute Nacht!

Basically, I wanna drive a luxury car.

Today, before work, I needed gas.  So I pulled into my local Exxon to fill ‘er up.  I see a woman peek around the pump to look at me.  I thought to myself, ok either this woman’s just really curious as to who’s gassin’ up next to her, or she’s super sketch. 

Sure enough, she came around to where I was standing on the other side and said, “Good morning!”
Hesitantly, I responded, “Good morning…”
She held out a copy of a magazine titled Awake! and said, “Would you like a copy of the Ladies’ Christian Journal?”
I inwardly (but probably visibly, too) grimaced and said, “No thank you.”  I didn’t want her to think anyone endorses her little proselytizing freak show.

No doubt mentally labeling me a sinner, she turned on her heel and sauntered back to her car….a white infiniti!  So pretty!  Leather interior!  ….where she had another friend waiting, by the way…guess they’re takin shifts.  I mean, how is that even fair?  I work my ass off all day long, and she passes out flyers at a gas station with her church, and her car is infinitely (pun intended) nicer than mine.  I’m sure she would advise that with the help of Jesus, all luxury cars are possible.  More than likely, it’s just that her husband does something worthwhile. 

Sigh.  Someday my ship in the form of an expensive vehicle will come.  ;o)

  • Friend or Follow

  • Some Ads

  • Push These Buttons

    In It To Gym It

    Love Harder